Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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