well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
