the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
