that's an acceptable place to lick
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
