Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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