apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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