i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
