Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
