i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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