Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alive.
So much puke
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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