girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I got inside last night via doggy door
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
