Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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