we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Randomize
