Betty ford says i'm here all night
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
