I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
