The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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