spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
