Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
