why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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