Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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