I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize