You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
