She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
You've changed since you got that strap on
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
