if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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