She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
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Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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