you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fucked my hip out of place.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize