Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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