isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize