if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
