At least make sure they are 18
Why
My hand turned me down
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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