how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
