oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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