You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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