She said her name was "party"
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
