How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
