The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
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You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
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He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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