I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
