i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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