I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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