i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
