How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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