so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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