I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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