I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Randomize
