Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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