It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
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