Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
