So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
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