Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
