yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
