Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
