Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
