he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
