I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Randomize
