Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
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