what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
