And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
