Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
