Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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