You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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