My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
lets start a swedish sibling band together
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
