# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
