call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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