Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
