Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
he thought i was a dude.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
