I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I bet he comes in French.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
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Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
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Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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